We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
