your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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