I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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