Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He felt like a one man threesome
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
