no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
