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OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
