To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
