Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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