He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We got so high we made milksteak
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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