Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
