one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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