This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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