On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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