fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
