how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
