remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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