Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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