I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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