go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
