Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
