Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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