I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
