well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
