Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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