I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
