Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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