Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
