My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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