I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
