at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
