so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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