My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
