we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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