you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
