Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
