she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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