DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The best revenge is premature balding
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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