friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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