hell yes lets make some ravioli
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
