obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Who died my cat blue again?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
