i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
