This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
