im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
