I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
