During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
