fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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