To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
my poor anus
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
