You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
