some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
