I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm bleeding and have questions
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