Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
