awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
