i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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